Zen Warrior Princess

There are many ways to journal. Maybe you’ve been doing it a while and are looking to up your journalling game. Maybe you’ve never tried. Maybe you tried but it was just one more thing on your to do list making self-care feel like a chore.

There’s no wrong way to journal, but some ways of journalling may better fit your needs.

You only need two things… paper and a pen.

You can get fancy, a pretty notebook and whimsical pen, but these aren’t strictly necessary. Any notepad and any pen or pencil will do, and sometimes you want pages you can tear out.

Wondering where to start? That depends on your reason for journalling. Journalling is great for rumination.

Can’t sleep because your mind is racing? Jot down those thoughts in a notebook by the bed.

Can’t stop thinking about something or someone? Write about it.

Worried about someone reading your journal? Destroy your writing when you finish. Good therapeutic journalling isn’t meant to be kept and re-read. When you’re finished the word vomit, dispose of it in a way that feels right. Burn it, tear it up, bury it in the garden. Think of it like vomiting – you need to get something out of your system, you’ll know when you’re done, and you flush it away. Don’t examine it, review it, or keep it. It’s a purge.

I once had a client who, among other things, had found his mother’s diary after her death. She had journaled therapeutically, about some really dark stuff. Stuff that was very painful for surviving family members to read. Therapeutic journalling isn’t for others to read. Occasionally, clients bring me journaling of things they couldn’t bring themselves to say aloud in session. Those pages served their purpose, then went in the secure shredding bin.

If you keep your journals because you chose pretty books, you can take your journalling to the next level by strategically writing in a coded or de-identified manner. I like to write you statements – you can become very ambiguous when there are multiple yous. Or maybe you have separate issues troubling you, but if you stop and think about the wording of each thought to weave back and forth between the issues, you can arrive at some new insights while keeping your journalling private.

Journalling is also a great way to work through a conflict or get up the nerve to say something to someone. Maybe you have a conflict at work, and you need to say something but are afraid of saying the wrong thing. Journal it until you find the right words. Maybe you’re angry, and don’t want to escalate a situation. Journal it in the form of directed letters – you’ll either satisfy your need to express your anger, or you’ll find the right words to achieve your goals.

If you don’t know where to start, start there. Write i don’t know where to start and then let it flow.

If you’re more inclined towards non-verbal creative outlets, the same applies. Artists and songwriters often use their art as an outlet, but imagine the pain that would follow you around if you wrote a song to get over a breakup and it was so popular you had to keep performing it for the rest of your career. You might find joy and healing, or you might find it continually retraumatising. If you’re a professional artist, allow yourself to have some of your art just for you, to allow you to purge your brain from time to time. Songs you don’t record, paintings or drawings you destroy, clay you mould then ball it back up and put away.

Your journalling might be ad hoc, or it might be ritualistic. What matters is that you do it. You have something running circles in your mind, that your brain can’t let go. This rumination is your brain’s way of saying pay attention, remember this, this is important. Writing it down tells your brain to chill, you can relax now, this important thing won’t be forgotten. Destroying gives you symbolic closure. Locking in a drawer or giving it to your therapist is also symbolic. Do you want to burn it and send it into the universe? Do you want to bury it in the garden to nurture new growth as compost? Do you want to tear it up into tiny pieces? Do you want to keep it safe and protected?

However you do it, do it for your wellbeing. Don’t force it, let if flow. And if it doesn’t feel beneficial, then find something else.

Happy journalling!