Zen Warrior Princess

Choices. How many times have we heard someone say “I didn’t have a choice”? How many times have we said this to ourselves?

You always have a choice.

They may not be the choices you want, but you still have a choice.

Imagine you wake up every day and someone hands you a menu. These are your choices for the day. My menu is not the same as your menu, and today’s menu might not be the same as last week’s menu or next year’s menu. You may not like your options and you may feel any number of feelings about your options, but exercising choice feels better than telling yourself you have no choice.

What happens when we tell ourselves we have no choice?

We feel helpless, disempowered. And how does that feel? Pretty depressing. Feeling that way day after day can lead to something called learned helplessness. Research on animals demonstrated that when forced into this helpless situation, where no choice they made led to a better outcome, they eventually gave up, curled up in a corner, and waited to die. And maybe you feel like a rat in an electrified cage, but I’m willing to wager that if you’re reading this, you aren’t. You made a choice to read this, to click on a link, and will make a choice to click on another and another. You make a choice every time you pick up a device or put down a device. You may feel like these aren’t choices, but you can take control of the choices. You just have to make the choice. Deliberately choose your next step.

Take back control of your choices. Today’s menu might feature cold garbage vs warm garbage, but it feels better to know you made that choice. It’s empowering to exercise your agency. Even if that choice is to do nothing, that’s still a choice. Today’s choices help shape tomorrow’s menu.

Sure, there are plenty of things in the world that are outside of your control. Focus attention instead on what is within your control – your choices.